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How To Give a Speech Without Saying Anything

Watch more Politics 101 videos: Subscribe to Howcast's YouTube Channel - Need to BS someone? Learn how to give a speech without saying much with these tips from Howcast. Howcast uploads the highest quality how-to videos daily! Be sure to check out our playlists for guides that interest you: Subscribe to Howcast's other YouTube Channels: Howcast Health Channel - Howcast Video Games Channel - Howcast Tech Channel - Howcast Food Channel - Howcast Arts & Recreation Channel - Howcast Sports & Fitness Channel - Howcast Personal Care & Style Channel - Howcast empowers people with engaging, useful how-to information wherever, whenever they need to know how. Emphasizing high-quality instructional videos, Howcast brings you experts who provide accurate information in easy-to-follow tutorials on everything from makeup, hairstyling, nail art design, and soccer to parkour, skateboarding, dancing, kissing, and much, much more. Step 1: Keep it vague Pepper your speech with universally appealing sound bites like, "More money!" "Less waste!" "A clean environment!" "Healthy children!" but don't paint yourself into a corner by providing details on how you're going to accomplish this wonderful stuff. Step 2: Hedge your bets Hedge your bets. If you say, "We need to be aggressive," temper it later with "We need to proceed cautiously." Thus if someone criticizes you for being too aggressive, you can say you underscored the need for caution. Tip Nod, smile, and point at imaginary friends in the audience, so people will think the room is filled with supporters. Step 3: Hire a speechwriter Hire a professional speechwriter to come up with a catchy phrase on the order of "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country." Then the rest of your blather won't matter. Step 4: Use euphemisms Be liberal with your use of euphemisms. Your district isn't in crisis; it's facing a challenge. You've never been criticized; you've just gotten lots of feedback. And you've never been involved in a scandal, you just exercised poor judgment. Tip Remember, you're not "anti" anything—such an ugly word. You are simply "pro" something else. Step 5: Run down the clock When asked a question, buy time by saying things like, "That's an excellent question!" and "I'm glad someone asked that." Keep rephrasing your delight and eagerness until people forget what the hell you were supposed to be answering. Did You Know? George Orwell said political language is "designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind."
Length: 02:14


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